Good NEWS
Extra, Extra: Rare Cycling Triple Crown Achieved!!
Post Olympic Summary of Women’s Uniforms:
Triathlon: Bikini
Outdoor Volleyball: Thong
Indoor Volleyball: Bum-Hugger shorts with tight top
Track Running: Bikini
Field Jumping Events: Bikini
swim racing: Skin tight long undies
Trampoline: Bikini
Diving/ other pool events: skimpy swimsuit
water polo: ripped skimpy swimsuit
Yeah you get the drift and the TV ratings agree…
Simple solution to Deciding which events Belong.
The Olympic motto is ‘higher, faster…’. If it’s not a timed race, or a jumping event measured by distance it’s out. Judged sports seldom end with the best people on the podium. Either from corrupt/ errant officiating, or just that your big toe made a little splash too much which it’s never done before.
Two exceptions: Boxing (most basic of sports, remains) Sailing timed event, out.
For the sake of getting back to the roots of simplicity, and because many events have duplicate winners, every other distance will be eliminated. (i.e. running: 200, and 800m axed, cycling team sprint, and scratch race, streamlined)
Lastly if someone tackles you 3km from winning a marathon, you’ve got some serious Karma issues. You gotta start calling those kids you teased in grade school and saying you’re sorry ‘cause something’s not balanced in your world.
Last weekend (the one before Labour day) I did a few fun things, I tried to have a House-sitting party at DK’s, but ended up going out in Toronto with Michael Moore (not the director) and Amy Moore (not Amy Jarvis). Axel (not Merkx) took us out to a high-end crepe (not pancake) place. Afterwards Mike gave us the historical tour of TO, and some hairy arm pitted Queb, burnt herself fire juggling at buskerfest. (Don’t know what a ‘Busker’ is? Google: define “busker”).
Michael asks my age. He then tells me if I’m still doing this in 3 years he’s going to organize the intervention. Mike’s not planning on attending, just organizing, so if you’re interested, I’ll forward you his information.
Cycling Triple Crown Awarded for first time ever!!
If ever achievements merited a pro contract, I would think these would be it. Think you could deal with “So-Pro Fat-Nat” Wowzers.
-RAAM
-Wednesday Nite Crit in Toronto
-Ontario RR Championships.
So the rumors are true, I won my second Ontario Road Race Championship. 90 guys paid $38 to race; I got it better than the guys at the Olympics, because with my medal I got a bottle of wine & shirt. I’m glad that I didn’t get some wreath of leaves. You can’t even take those things to Kiwi Land NEhow. In a twist ending the greatest Canadian Cyclist ever almost got me relegated. Steve Bauer was driving lead vehicle for the chase group, and as I was bridging someone in the back of his care was giving me time splits. The second of these they gave to me as I rolled up hill, with a tail wind through the feed zone, 18 sec. behind the leading duo.
The Secret mid race meal which propelled me to victory? Whole Wheat Roll, with Mayo, Mustard, 4 layers of lean ham, and 2 layers of sharp cheddar. Giddy-up you can’t imagine how good that sandwich tasted. 4 bottles of Water and two of Emergen-C mineral drink. Giddy-up
Other than that I’ve spent the last two weeks living in Denise Kelly’s Basement. DK’s been my coach for the post 2+ years. After Last weekend’s result I can’t wait for Univest, and the next races, as I was just training through provincials – I’m coming into stompin’ fittness. Denise’s a full time coach, and frankly spends more time talking to and thinking about her athlete’s year-round than anyone else I’ve worked with. Her basket’s already full of fruits, I’m the watermelon that broke the camels back, but if you’re interested, and pass my screening, I could put you in touch with her.
Cheers, Nat
