Found: Paradise on Earth aka Santy B.
Found: Paradise on Earth a.k.a. Santy B.
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie the beach. It kinda blew. Leo was in it, and not really doing much, there were girls in bathing suits, and even despite that I can’t for the life of me remember the point of the movie. Anyhow I do remember that is was a Lord of the Flies type scenario where the people where so sure they’d found paradise that they would kill to keep others from finding their spot.
I’ve been in Santa Barbara for 3 days now:
Day one : This is the greatest place on the planet, it really is Paradise
Great beaches, which run through a really mellow town. Few traffic lights give way to quite treed streets and Jurassic park type vegetation. Classen takes me for the loop through UCSB campus and time and again I find my bike headed towards garbage cans, oncoming riders, and lamp posts. Girls are actually riding to class in bikini’s! Some chick sunbathing topless suddenly sends me veering directly towards Classen. Helmets on at all times, this is the most dangerous place I’ve ever ridden.
Day two: The people are really stuck up here
I’m back from the 5h loop an hour early so I ride through town a little. The few people who actually wave, or say ‘hi’ back to me are genuinely surprised that someone has said hi to them.
Day three: This place blows
Today and the next 3 days have rain forecast. In Bakersfield, Tucson, or San D. This would total around 4h or rain. Here is really happens. And you know what, the rain here in Paradise is both wet, and cold enough that I wish I hadn’t mailed my thermals home to Bracebridge when I jetted from Victoria. This weather is downright Canadian.
Day Four: Why I hate Santa Barbara
(it’s funny how once a place starts to get under one’s skin, everything, even people walking down the street minding their own business become annoying)
-The people here have posture that is too good
-Although their boobs may be real, the girls are fake
-There are so many hot girls that I can’t focus, on anything
-The weather is crappy rain is winning 4:2
-Too many banks and I-pods per capita
-The people are too rich, even if they aren’t they’re pretending to be
-Most of all they’re too damn smug about there place being better than yours, them looking better than you. What ever. I’m moving back to the dirt bowl of Bakersfield.
What’s the bottom line? Who peed in my soup? I think my personal paradise will have more Canadians living in it. It was cool that a few thousand people turned out for a peace parade down State Street, I was supposed to go on a blind date with this ‘cool girl’ and it never materialized
Nat’s What’s wrong with girls in the South West:
Without having been here to see it for yourself you won’t believe it, but take my word, it’s real. Real Silicone & Waterbags.
Back when I was young enough to go on dates with highschool girls I went out with a girl in Bakersfield. You know what highschool girls in Bakersfield do. They take out fake boobs, with a payment plan. Yeah that’s right! You’re 18 and spending $50 a month on your rack. NO JOKING
Just like anyplace there are good people here, but Santy B is just not my scene. I think I’ll go and ride the Bear tomorrow.
Natty b -out
