Foreign Bodies — Test: Are you a Man or Pansy?
Test: Are you a Pansy?
Back in the Late 1990’s (yeah I know I remember way back when…) I could rip off 50 push-ups when ever I felt like it, no sweat. So established the theory: If you are Male, and unable to complete 50 push-ups you are a Pansy
So last week I managed to rip off 32 push-ups. Damn, I’m a pansy!
Two days Ago I got to 12, and yesterday I made it through 30. Today my abs and toe are sore from doing ‘the Worm’, so push-ups were Zero.
Visiting other Countries: 3 Weeks on the Road in British Columbia
Step one: Get to the airport, tell them your name and destination. Why yes Mr. Falkner [sic] we have a flight for you.
Next I spent 4h talking to an older lady, who is every bit as much a horse dork as I am a bike dork. She tells me that she has a friend who rides, drag races Camero’s and ‘is beautiful’ whom I should call and go out for a date with.
I arrive in Kamloops, and wait a day for my bike (the $120 surcharge was for…)
Friday I called up my airplane buddy, and arrange my blind date, who was not blind. She was in fact so beautiful that when I looked at them my optic cortex spontaneously combusted, and I was blinded. Next up Ace is at her little Horse Ranch helping the 5′8″ barbie bodied blond with Sandra Bulloch’s face feed the horses. She’s still all done up, and wrestles a dead bird away from the chocolate lab puppy. While I’m struggling with one 5-gallon pail of water, she’s carrying a hay bale as well. And her make-up didn’t run. Wow, she’s a keeper!
So we then head back to ‘Ace’s place’ where things take a turn for the ….
Sandra: So what kind of music do you listen to?
Ace: Well I’m really relaxed; Anything save Country
(Long Pause)
Ace: Wow a lot of the cars have those Jesus fish things on them…
Sandra: I’m Catholic, and go to church every weekend
(Longer Pause)
Sandra: You must feel the presence of the Lord sometimes (I can’t remember one exactly, but you get the idea)
Ace: I believe in, uh, something…
The host housing I had in Kamloops, was with a middle aged batchelor. He was a cool guy, relaxed, his bird was free to roam the, tidy-ish house. He had a great Home Stereo system, along with 200 DVD’s in the basement
For some reason Ace though that watching Hell Boy would be a good idea for a date.
Moral of the Story
Ace shouldn’t date Religious, Country Music Fans, because after one date they won’t answer his calls.
After my week in Kamloops I headed out to Vancouver for the Left Coast version of Superweek: 7 races over 2 weeks of really good racing in a great environment.
The final weekend’s race sprouted a rumor that there would be doping controls during the event. Some teams were already scheduled to leave for Altoona, and others. Like say, the Entire National Costa Rican team as well as Davidenko were conspicuously missing.
Mad props to the Roger’s for having more food than I though possible, and also to Tracey for lending me her Kayak for a spin in Boundary Bay. Good times.
Q: Nat What are you doing after this?
A:
I packed up my BOB trailer, it weights 53lbs, and hooked it onto the Cannondale (with saddlebag and full waterbottles) 21lbs
Planned Route:
Thursday AM: Cumberland Center Maine Thursday Morning
Friday: Vermont
Saturday: Tour of Hilltowns. 155km Road Race in Mass
Monday or Tuesday: Nashua NH
Wednesday: Return to Cumberland Maine
I think it’s a pretty solid plan, I’ve pre-registered for the bike race, but other than that everything is flexible.
Packing List:
-3 complete cycling kits
Two of: Extra socks,
One of each: shorts, toque, toothbrush, razor, floss, pot, plate, stove, cutlery, 3 person tent (bike and trailer come inside), ¾ thermarest, Sleeping bag, half sheet for hot nights, T-Shirt, LS button up shirt, sleeveless shirt, deodorant, riding jacket, arm warmers, cycling cap, Dan Brown novel, Visa
Food: Quick rice, and Quick noodles. I have a patch-kit, spare Schwalbe tire, 3 tubes, lights, allen-wrenches, lock
Things I’m realizing that I should have but don’t’: Extra Gas for stove, Matches, tent pegs, Oatmeal, any form of a map, or directions to the race, oatmeal, spare tube or tire for the trailer, gearing smaller than a 39×25.
Well it’ll be an adventure regardless.
